Top 10 Annoying Corporate Jargon Phrases

Well, seeing as everyone else is doing it today. In no particular order:

1. ‘Reach out’
No-one just speaks to anyone any more. They reach out to them. When I hear this phrase, I imagine a gospel choir singing it and a big God-like hand stretching out.

2. ‘Going forward’
I used to use this phrase all the time because everyone around me did. Then I did a writing course run by two long-time journalists who said at the beginning that if anyone used it, they would expel them from the class.

3. ‘Circle up’
I had never heard this before until a couple of years ago. In fact, when I did hear it, I had to ask what it meant. It means you tell your colleagues something.

4. ‘Huddle’
As above. It’s a meeting. Nothing more. Yet somehow it tries to evoke something more.

5. ‘Think outside the box’
I was astonished that people even still use this. But they do.

6. ‘Let’s take this offline’
Another oldie, but still heard in every meeting I’ve been to where people have something off-topic to discuss. Yet they use it with no sense of irony.

7. ‘On the radar’
This is quite popular where I work. I guess the more usual phrase of someone simply saying they are aware of something didn’t quite cut it.

8. ‘Let’s whiteboard that’
Transforming nouns into verbs appears to be popular in the corporate world. This is kind of a brainstorming expression (itself irritating jargon) where you scribble a load of old bollocks onto a projection screen by accident using a permanent marker pen.

9. ‘Let’s action that’
No, you’re just going to do it. Don’t dress it up.

10. ‘Bandwidth’
Do you have time to do this project? Time is the same as bandwidth. It’s just five letters longer.

Other things which have annoyed me:

Restaurants

Pedestrians

Sandwiches

Clothes

Shopping centres

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